I was baptized Catholic, went to Catholic school up until 7th grade, and later in life moved towards Bible-based theology.  I would consider myself non-denominational, but others would align it pretty closely with Baptist, as we continue to baptize adults to be “born again”.

I point this out to be transparent about my background and  I understand that not everyone is on the same spiritual path.  Just like in my fitness posts, I can only articulate what I felt firsthand and what worked for me.

Regardless of what religion you practice or your relationship with the universe, the message here is applicable to all, so please keep reading.

I have always had a strong belief in God and his will for me.  I admit that I do not attend any church regularly.  Part of this is an excuse for laziness, and another part is that I have a hard time reconciling the money trail and some of the circus and politics.  I do believe that churches do a tremendous amount of good and are an important part of a strong society but I have always felt a more personal and private relationship with God.

I believe having this relationship with God was paramount to me being here today to even discuss it with you, and to leave it out would be a crime.  I know the questions that many have, myself included, about why there would even be such a thing as cancer if there was a God, and worse..how in the world can we reconcile children with it?  This stuff does not escape me and I write it off as my lack of greater understanding, but, rest assured, it is not without question.

In my introduction, I told you that when I was in the first 11 days of the hospital, things got really dark.  When you are in a spot like that prayer comes naturally, even to the most ardent atheist. ( I have always felt that atheists were just people who have had the luxury of not really being “up against it”….yet.)

Once you experience a life-or-death circumstance, you come to Jesus fast.

While I was in and out of consciousness I prayed and pleaded for time.

Not health, not money, not for anyone to be with me, only time.

As I continued to pray in desperation, at one point, peace came over me.  I recognized how much of this was out of my hands and that the outcome would have to be on someone/something else.  Letting go of my illusion of control gave me immediate peace.  I knew before my official diagnosis, that I was going to make it out of there.  Prayer gave me the freedom and permission to rest.  Prayer afforded me the first step in recovery.

Over the course of the next few years, there were many ups and downs.  Plenty of discouragement and few victories.  I began to turn the corner once I changed the focus from asking God for what I wanted to a focus of what He has already blessed me with.  Even being near death, there was still a lot to be thankful for.  I am confident that this is the path to recovery in all things.

The benefits of just living a life of gratitude overall are easy to find on the internet and everyone has been advised at one point or another to  “count your blessings” but I believe it is the way my prayers changed that was my significant lesson.

Much like in my fitness posts, I point out that people are often doing too much, ultimately working against themselves.  I believe that many pray the same way.  (Repetitively, like in the case of the rosary, or excessively )

What I found was that I needed to stop asking and start thanking. 

Nowadays, I only do two things in my prayers, no matter what the circumstance.

I have the same strategy when things are bad as when things are good.

1. Worship and

2. Give thanks.

I know,  this is a lot harder than it sounds, but follow me here…

Once I stopped asking for my life to be spared, for help, or for any of the other things that we commonly ask for, and just started to thank Him for another day and another poke at the bear (cancer).

That is when things started to change.  

Simply exercising and practicing gratitude can HEAL you!

For example, I had had many scans.  Any cancer patient knows the stress of these, and the anxiety that comes with the days before, the actual scan, and the wait for results.  Every time I went into a scan praying that it is clear and that the cancer is gone.  Sometimes I went in there optimistically, sometimes pessimistically, but always pleading.  The last scan I had on 2-3 2021, was the first one I went in without asking for a thing.  I thanked Him for the doctors, for the technology that allows me to be in this uncomfortable position, and for the time and life I have already lived. I thanked and worshiped.  I surrendered to the idea that I might die and that if that was His will, then let it be done.  At the end of the day, His will; will be done, and there is no sense in fighting it.  We already have enough to fight.  The release of the illusion of power alone was. again, immediately comforting.

What made me pray a certain way for 40+ years and then change?  

If I go back over my life and think of all my prayers…it is far and away the unanswered ones that were the biggest and most powerful.  So often, I am so wrong about what I want or think I need.  How offensive must it be to think you have to be specific or tell an omnipotent God what you need? He knows.

Think about how offended you would be if your child came home every day from school fearful if he/she would get dinner.  At first, you would say “Of course, we are going to have dinner, sweetheart” but eventually you might start to get annoyed thinking “When in the world have I not fed you dinner?  Yet every day you come home with the same level of panic!”  That would wear on you quickly maybe even provoke you to anger.  How long before you said, “You know what, you are right, no dinner tonight!”?  Now I am not insinuating that God is as petty as we are, but I quickly understood that what I was asking of him was redundant and lacked faith. This was my first offense.

My second offense was when I did pray, I prayed small.  I would have never had the audacity or even dream to pray for a full recovery, a fit body, or abundance in my life financially and emotionally.  Yet, that is just what I got!  

I only prayed for time, and the limit on my ask is embarrassing and offensive.  I believe He went well past the gift of time, and I believe it was my lesson in gratitude (no matter how long that took me) that allowed me the privilege of being here to share this with you.

My challenge to you, much like my fitness challenge is to slightly change the way you are praying and watch the results.  We often do not have to make giant changes for giant benefits.

Gratitude is behind all positive emotions, and if you can manage to exercise that muscle starting today, I am certain you will begin to see positive change and that it will begin to bleed out into other areas of your life.

**In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.–Harvard Medical

Gratitude, like success, and happiness is contagious.