What would it be worth to you if I could investigate, chase down, and punish the person responsible for doing the most physical, emotional, or financial damage to you? Regardless of the crime.
What would you pay me, if I could not only apprehend them but also get them to give you a heartfelt and meaningful apology and assurance that it would never happen again?
Well, good news, I am going to do just that and guarantee the results.
The only cost is that you read the rest of this post and share it with your friends, so I can do the same for them.
In life, negative things can happen by chance and also as a result of the actions of other people. In both cases, I can put the same person at the scene of the crime…
You.
The bravest and most liberating thing I have recognized in my life is the understanding that I am 100% responsible for what happens to me. Now, I am not saying that I am the cause of any one thing or another, although in most cases, I am guilty of that as well. I am saying that how I react, think about, and respond is now and has always been 100% on me. This might come as a shock from a cancer patient, but I will get into that shortly.
In the cases where people have hurt me, I understand and recognize that I should have been more diligent. I think if you are really honest with yourself, you can probably admit that you could have done more to protect yourself and that you likely ignored red flags and other clear warnings. This is an important thing to get to because it returns all the power back to you.
Not only is this wildly liberating, but it is empowering. Instead of being a victim of someone’s actions or weaknesses (which is really why they hurt you in the first place) you can see where you fell short, and fix it. I have always thought that it is better for the problem to be with me than with someone else. If you have ever tried to change someone you will understand the reasoning behind this. Once you identify that the problem lies within you, only then do you have the power and means to fix it!
Good luck fixing someone else.
Now, I might lose some of you here, but hear me out…In relationships, we need to take 100% responsibility, whether they be friendships, romantic, or business. Too many times we think that relationships should be 50/50 but that is a lie. Only when you are willing to take 100% responsibility in a relationship, will it work. If not, you are leaving too much to fate. How many times have you waited on the actions of someone else to prove one thing or another? How many times have we played the “I am not apologizing first” game? The amount of times that I allowed past relationships to happen to me as opposed to taking a fully active part in them is embarrassing. I am not saying that you should be a footstool or allow people to take advantage of you. Quite the opposite. If you take 100% responsibility for your relationships, sometimes that means you 100% walk out the door, but in both cases, you stay in control.
You are also 100% responsible for what you don’t do. I think people forget this and feel like if they are complacent, they are off the hook. If you stay stagnant, lazy, or allow the world to happen to you as opposed to asserting yourself, you are leaving too much to random order. I understand, maybe better than anyone, that sometimes life is unfair and that some things happen to you outside of your control but we must at least be vigilant to prevent what we can and then deal with what we must.
Bad luck and unfortunate circumstance might not be our fault, how we deal with them thereafter is. I wouldn’t dare say that cancer is anyone’s fault. However, even in cancer, there are sometimes things that we can do to mitigate our exposure and risk. In my case, there was no family history, no behavior changes that could have prevented my illness. The doctors still do not know why some people get it while others do not. I did learn that we all have cancer cells in our bodies right now. Scary, right? The good news is that most of the time our immune system can handle those cells and destroy them. We should be cognizant of our immune system’s ability and give ourselves the best chance at combating cancer if/when it comes knocking at the door. This is where fitness and healthy eating come into play. We all can do this much today.
When challenges arise, and they will, we need to refocus our thoughts and emotions on what is right and less on what is wrong. I recognize that is easier said than done, but this kind of mindset is exactly what is necessary to overcome many of life’s unforeseen challenges. Nothing I have done in my life has given me more power than this. I almost feel that it is a life hack that I should maybe not give out for free 😀
My goal and passion are that I can help as many people as I can change their way of viewing adversity. Ultimately helping them out of the dark woods of their lives. If you are experiencing challenging obstacles and are ready to start seeing things a little differently, then I am here for you. I know this all sounds a lot easier said than done, and it is. I still work at it daily. However, I am proof that it can not only be done to give you mental clarity and peace but to pave the way for success and abundance in spite of the fire you may be in.
Now that I have exposed the culprit who is behind most of what has gone wrong in your life, here is your opportunity to apologize to him/her. We all have failed to recognize our culpability in many facets of our lives. You are not alone. What a great opportunity we have to take the bull by the horns and start living a life of full accountability immediately!
