This week, I got a call from my son Hunter, who is currently stationed in Texas with the Air Force:
“Dad I am signed up for the Norwegian Ruck March, and I maybe shouldn’t have told anyone”
“Why?”
“Well, they are giving me a little bit of a hard time, saying I won’t be able to finish it, and I think I should have just kept it to myself, last year, only 31 guys on base completed it.”
“How many guys are going to do it in your squadron?”
“2”
“Do you know the other one?” “What does he say?”
“Oh, he is doing it with me and he says we’ll do it”
There it was.
More often than not, the brave ones are pushing you to come along with them, and the people who are telling you that you cannot do something or laughing at your efforts aren’t even signing up!
This was a valuable lesson for him and a reminder for me at the same time.
Too often, we wait for things to be just right. Maybe to prevent failure or to avoid judgment from others. How silly it is to even listen to the people on the sidelines.
It also occurred to me that the people who are trying to accomplish the most are also the most willing to help. My closest friend has to be one of the busiest guys I know, and he still finds time to encourage, challenge, and motivate me. It is the ones doing little or nothing, that allow their insecurity to show in the form of discrediting your effort.
Note: If you find yourself in this uncertain category of people sitting on the sideline, contact me and I will help you!
When I started coaching, I was filled with thoughts, of “Why would anyone read a book I wrote” or “Who would want to get relationship advice from a guy twice divorced?”, and even “Who would come to get conflict management help from a guy who has been in his share of fights?”
On the surface, this could be seen as personal insecurity or possibly humility, which it might still be, but it is also a splash of narcissism when we are convinced that other people care so much about what we are doing, that we get stuck.
When anyone comes to me with fear of what other people might think or say, I tell them all the same thing. “There is good news and bad news, and it is the same news…No one cares” This can seem depressing, but it is actually liberating.
Are you afraid of going to a gym out of shape? No one cares.
Are you afraid of starting a new business and failing? No one cares.
Are you afraid of being rejected by a pretty woman? No one cares.
Roll the dice. Start the business. Get in the gym.
Not trying when you are not sure you can win, or not sure that everyone will love it, is cowardice.
Going out and helping people to be their best selves is its own reward, and whether I change a million lives or 1 or if Hunter finishes his ruck in record time or not, makes no difference. It is the bravery in trying that we are all rewarded for. There are more lessons in losing than they are in winning, and so long as you have that growth mindset, your failures can and will only propel you to the next level.
You either win or you learn. It is foolproof.
The day is today. The time is now.
I am always willing to help,
