Identifying Solutions That Cause You Problems
I will be writing about things over the next few weeks that can help us identify some of the natural tendencies that we lean towards to make ourselves more comfortable in the short term and show how some of these coping strategies can help you feel better in the moment but can make things worse in the long run. I am piecing this together deliberately to make the posts shorter and more readable. (per the Google SEO gods)
Problem-Maintaining Solutions
These are things we do to get short-term relief, which is counterproductive to long-term emotional growth. Do you see any of these habits in yourself, If so, it might be time to address them with coaching and action?
- Avoiding situations that you fear or that provoke anxiety: Avoiding situations that make you feel anxious or fearful has the tendency to undermine your confidence rather than build it. You continue to be afraid of the situations you avoid, and as a result, you do not give yourself the opportunity to confront and overcome your fears.
- Drinking alcohol or taking drugs to block out uncomfortable feelings: Frequently, those negative emotions linger over time, and you end up dealing with the alcohol’s or drugs’ additional effects. You could also become addicted, which would be a new problem.
- Concealing aspects of yourself that cause shame: Hiding things about yourself-such as imperfections in your appearance, childhood experiences, mistakes from the past, or current psychological difficulties can make you feel insecure that someone may “find you out”. Hiding embarrassing aspects of your experiences also prevents you from learning that other people have had similar experiences and that sharing yours won’t make them think less of you. (remember the importance of vulnerability from this post?)
- Putting off dealing with the problems until you are in the mood: If you wait to take action until you are “in the mood” or when you “feel like it” you may end up waiting a long time. Putting off essential tasks may save you some discomfort today but undone tasks weigh heavily on your mind, and generally only become larger problems.
If you feel like you are using any of these counterproductive coping strategies, I can help you reroute that energy and get you in a better position to conquer some of these negative feelings. Feel free to contact me at the links below!
