Equanimity…What is that?

About a month ago, a friend turned me on to a book called “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl, and if you haven’t heard of it or read it, I strongly suggest you do. I won’t get into too many spoilers here, so you are safe.

Viktor was a holocaust survivor as well as a psychiatrist, which put him in an interesting position whereby he could study people in the ugliest and most dire of situations. His take on both survivors and offenders is unique. The conditions he was subjected to during the Holocaust provided him with an incredible insight not only into the horrors that humans are capable of, but also into how some survivors, including himself, were able to cope with impending doom, and, incredibly, how he found peace and sanity under such pressures.

While cancer is a walk in the park compared to the holocaust, in some instances, I felt what I learned about perspective, mindset, and faith was similar to what Viktor articulated much better than I could have imagined.

The message I received was about equanimity, and it has been popping up in other research that I am doing. I’ve learned that when something keeps knocking at the door, it is more than a coincidence.

While I have felt and continue to feel it, I hadn’t even heard the word until the last few weeks. Sometimes we feel things that are better articulated by others and relate better to their descriptions than our own. I never had a word to describe it, and I will try my best to articulate here what it means in my circumstances.

Equanimity is derived from two Latin words combined to make out “having an even mind”. I believe that while we cannot control much of what happens to us, it is this “space” that Viktor speaks of, in the above quote, that we do control. That is where we can begin to practice the development of an “even mind”.

Not shockingly, equanimity seems to be the fundamental foundation of many religions. While I have been clear about my Christianity, I found it important to note that this understanding appears in Buddhism, Judaism, and Islam, and in short, means peace. Real peace.

Finding peace during peaceful times is easy, but think of how powerful and helpful you could be if you could manage to find peace in difficult or horrible times.

It wasn’t until I surrendered to my condition that I was able to be at peace, or “equanimity”. This new state allowed me the ability to think more clearly and put hope, faith, and love into action, resulting in a healthier and happier condition in which I now live today. It also motivates me to continue to explore and better understand so that I can help other people.

To me, equanimity is…

• …about finding serenity in your life’s challenges. We are all going to get hit with conflict and struggle that we cannot control. How we think and react to it is literally everything and the only thing we can control.
• …awareness that helps us to keep our minds at peace. We have discussed before the human being’s desire for control. It is our default state to do so, but you have to be aware of what you can actually control vs. what you cannot. Fighting change or things outside of your control leads to frustration, depression, and despair.
• …is about recognizing impermanence. I’ve said before that life comes at you fast. Nothing will last forever, and when you realize this, you can see that good and bad will pass through your life, and in both cases, it can change just as quickly.
• …is the understanding that attachment to outcomes, whether to obtain something we want or avoid losing something we have, creates anxiety. The attachment, more than the actual event, is what causes the most pain. Letting go of both a desire to hold and a desire to lose while accepting what comes into your life releases us from our mental anguish.
• …being aware of our insignificance. When we understand the larger picture and our actual role in it all, it makes us less self-centered and frees us from the pressure we put on both ourselves and our circumstances.

Being in a constant state of equanimity is nearly impossible. I say near because my understanding of what is and is not impossible is constantly evolving. Most of us, with practice, will go through different levels of equanimity, but my hope is that by understanding this state and knowing how to work towards getting into it, you will have more peace in your life.

I am always willing to help.