“When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.” — Albert Einstein
michael@stage4thor.com
Recently in my house, we have been talking about dreams and what they mean, and while I don’t personally consider my dreams to have much meaning outside of being random thought soup, it made me think about the dreams that are really important…
The best dreams you have are the ones you have when you are awake.
Your imagination and ability to see your future in a positive way can be powerful tools for success, but we’ve lost touch with that spark over the years.
Somewhere along the way of becoming an adult, we stop imagining how life could be different in an exciting way. Sure, we can consider how much worse it could be, but even that should instill some gratitude in you. You can, and should, begin to dream about how much better it can be!
The power of this lies in the fact that our subconscious does not know the difference between real and imagined scenarios. Your subconscious is in the business of taking orders, so you might as well start showing it something spectacular!
Many of us don’t dream about the future because it is scary, but it is only scary because of our perception of it, and our perception of the future is conditioned by our past experience (what else would it be based on if not on what we are already aware of?). The future is unknown, but our bias toward the negative is based on our past experiences, not on the actual future. We look into the future through the lens of our past, and this lens is flawed.
Why?
We are comfortable with what we know, and most of what we know is uncomfortable.
While positive memories exist, I am willing to bet that it is the negative ones that are most prevalent in the front of your mind. We tend to be naturally more in tune with what went wrong or where we went wrong than the opposite. This is part of our survival instinct, which works to protect us from making the same mistakes twice. However valuable it might be, it is counterproductive when visualizing how beautiful and wild the future can be.
Sometimes the hope of a better future is all you have. There was certainly a time when the present wasn’t all that fantastic in my life, and without hope for a better day or dreams of a brighter future, I can see how I could have spiraled into a much darker depression.
Imagine our memories like full bags of groceries (some bad and some with ice cream in them). When coming in from the car, we want to carry as many as we can in one trip, but we eventually reach our max. On your trip, you can only carry so many bags as well, and it leaves little room for new or bigger bags. You have to drop some of those past bags in order to carry bags in the future. In a previous post, I mentioned how our past memories, even when good, can be a burden to our growth. If you live in the positive past, you may want to stay there and do nothing to move forward. If you live with a negative past, the burden of self-doubt and fear of failure can have the same effect of hampering your growth and potential for the future. Long story short, when dreaming, focus on the future and away from the past.
This is one of the many reasons children are happier than we are. Aside from not having to deal with adult problems, inflation, and chores, They don’t have much of a past to dwell on. This is likely why the younger they are, the more imaginative they dare to be. Therapists are always trying to connect you with your “inner child” because your inner child hasn’t had as much time to develop past prejudices, so they carry fewer grocery bags (and the ones they do mostly have ice cream 🙂
You aren’t afraid of the actual future. The future is as bright as you want to imagine it, so long as you can eliminate the reservations of your past.
How do we do that?
1. Don’t spend time trying to make peace with your past. Peace with other people? Sure. Your past? Forget it. It cannot be altered or improved. This can be depressing or liberating. You do not have to feel the guilt of the past another day. There is no benefit. Let it go.
2. Consider what you DO want. Imagine how much better things can really be. Remove the “If onlys”. Don’t imagine yourself as healthy and happy, “if only x y, or z happens.” Simply imagine where you would like to be if there was nothing in your way. For me, being healthy and happy was certainly going to be contingent on a lot of other factors, but I imagine it wasn’t. I had to let go of the contingencies and just start dreaming, and I recommend you do too.
3. Be outrageous. Remember, these are dreams. Dream big!
Dream so big you are embarrassed to share them…and then share them anyway!
I am always willing to help.
